


This is How We Were Meant to Be

by candyflossclifford



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: Angst, Bandverse, Blow Jobs, Kissing, M/M, Pining, Realisation of feelings, basically an au of cashton's hawaii trip, idk what else to tag really, it's literally calum and ashton in hawaii so here u go, kind of, kind of?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-11
Updated: 2016-08-11
Packaged: 2018-08-08 05:00:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,426
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7744309
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/candyflossclifford/pseuds/candyflossclifford
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>"Calum’s never realised how beautiful Ashton looks in moments like these, either. There’s a small smile gracing the curly haired boys lips, and his hazel eyes are soft and constantly moving. Ashton’s posture is relaxed and calm, and Ashton deserves to be relaxed after the stress of a tour.</i>
  <br/>
  <i>Calum swallows hard as he turns away from Ashton, confused as to why his thoughts took such a turn and he shouldn’t be thinking about his best friend like that.</i>
  <br/>
  <i>So why was he?"</i>
</p><p> </p><p>Or, Calum and Ashton go to Hawaii, and Calum can’t stop thinking about Ashton in ways that he shouldn’t.</p>
            </blockquote>





	This is How We Were Meant to Be

**Author's Note:**

> hello! okay so i know i should be working on my wip, but when calum and ashton posted about all their adventures in hawaii i just had to write about it!  
> so, i tried to be as accurate as possible with the places they were at but i've only been to O'ahu and not Kauai, so all that's from research my apologies if anything is wrong!  
> also, this is my first time writing smut (if that's what you can call it) so sorry if it's bad i researched all i could!!  
> All errors are mine, and enjoy!

Calum wakes up to a bright light practically attacking his eyelids, and he groans when he realises it’s the sun. It’s his first day of break, for god’s sake, the sun should be more respectful of that. Especially at whatever hour it is - it’s way too early for Calum to be up.

Apparently, Calum’s not allowed to sleep any longer, because he hears footsteps enter his room and then his bed dips downwards. Instead of acknowledging whosoever presence it is - and it can really be only one person, but at this point with how often Michael and Luke are at their apartment, Calum wouldn’t be surprised if it’s one of them - he flips over and presses his face as far as he can against the pillow, and whips the comforter over his head. The giggle that follows confirms Calum’s suspicions that it’s none other than Ashton disrupting Calum’s peaceful sleep, and of course Calum loves Ashton’s laugh, he always has, but not at this ungodly hour.

Calum’s focusing on trying to get back to sleep, and he lets out another groan as Ashton’s weight moves from the bed to on top of Calum.

“G’t off,” Calum mumbles into his pillow, and he slightly moves his body enough that it pushes Ashton off, and Calum can feel the older boy's presence beside him.

“Dude, it’s 1 in the afternoon,” Ashton retorts, and Calum’s initially shocked he slept that late, but then decides he doesn’t care and he’s tired and wants to go back to sleep.

Calum chooses to ignore Ashton and the brown boy can practically feel Ashton’s eye roll in the back of his head, but when Calum’s tired he really can’t bring himself to give a shit about anything, really.

Calum can feel Ashton shift slightly. “Let’s go to Hawaii,” Ashton says, out of fucking nowhere. This definitely gets Calum’s attention, and he’s for sure awake now.

Calum turns over, removing his face from the pillow and instead sitting upwards. Ashton is sitting on Calum’s bed, back flat against the wall and tall legs dangling off the edge. Calum always feels weird when Ashton is on his bed with him, or that one time Calum saw a ghost and he just had to sleep in Ashton’s room because there’s no fucking way he was sleeping on his own after that. He gets a weird, tight feeling in his chest whenever this happens and Calum always ignores it, but each time they do end up in the same bed, close enough to touch and pull each other in during their sleep, whatever feeling it is gets harder and harder to ignore.

Calum turns towards Ashton, expecting to see a shit eating grin on his face as if to say, “Just kidding, you needed to wake the fuck up,” but Ashton looks completely serious, so Calum raises an eyebrow at him.

“Like - right now?” Calum questions. Ashton’s been spontaneous in the past, but is usually one to think things through one-hundred percent before executing them, so Calum’s a little confused.

Ashton’s grin gets even bigger, if that were possible. “Yes! Why not? We have 3 weeks off - and why not go somewhere we haven’t before! You, Me, Mikey and Luke - it’ll be fun!”

Calum bites his lip, and for some stupid reason, Calum assumed Ashton meant they only they should go, just the two of them together. Calum doesn’t know why he thinks that - he loves Michael and Luke with all his heart, of course he’d want them to come. But something about the way that Ashton had come to him and proposed the idea sent a weird feeling through his chest - hope, if he had to place it  -and Calum doesn’t like the feeling of disappointment that washed over him when Ashton mentioned their best friends joining them on a vacation.

Calum ignores this, for now, like he usually does with any other confusing feelings that pop into his head every once in again, and instead thinks about the idea of actually dropping everything and going to Hawaii.

It doesn’t sound like a bad idea to Calum. To just get away from everyone for a while and hang out with the people closest to him, to not have to deal with any paparazzi or people constantly starting unnecessary shit on social media. Calum likes the idea that they’d be able to live in their own little bubble for a week with nothing but the ocean and tropical breeze surrounding them, and decides that he does indeed, want to go to Hawaii.

“Okay,” Calum says, and the way Ashton’s eyes light up makes Calum’s stomach do a flip.

Ashton hops off of Calum’s bed, taking the younger boy’s comforter with him, and Calum glares as Ashton grins. “Great! I’ll walk across the hall to Mike and Luke’s, but I don’t even know if they’ll be awake - you’re lucky you slept through whatever they were doing last night.”

Calum makes a face at Ashton’s statement, because Calum knows his best friends are into some weird shit and he doesn’t want to know any details about their sex lives, but then Calum laughs at the disgusted expression on Ashton’s face, because the older boy had to live through it.

“Glad my room has the thicker walls,” Calum smirks, and Ashton flips him the bird before sauntering out of his room.

***

Calum’s barely even moved an inch from his previous position when Ashton saunters back into the room, looking mildly disappointed. 

“Well, they already have plans, apparently,” Ashton grumbles, and Calum rolls his eyes because of course Michael and Luke would make plans so that they could spend as much time together as possible before they had to go back on tour.

“That’s not surprising,” Calum replies, and Ashton shrugs and nods.

Calum hates the sad, wistful look on Ashton’s face, and he knows it’s because the older boy was ecstatic about going on a trip with his best friends. Calum would do anything to wipe that look off of Ashton’s face and replace it with a smile, and Calum knows he’s not overstepping with his next suggestion.

“We could still go, y’know,” Calum shrugs, nonchalant as Ashton turns towards him with a look so hopeful that makes Calum’s heart almost stop. “Just us, it would be fun! Plus, we can show the other two what they’re missing out on.”

Ashton smiles, exactly what Calum wanted, and moves towards Calum and envelopes him in a large hug. Calum practically melts into Ashton, he’s always loved Ashton’s hugs more than anyone else’s, if he’s honest. Ashton just has this touch that’s so caring and gentle and Calum never wants to move. 

Unfortunately, Ashton pulls back first. “There’s a reason I live with you and not the other two,” Ashton laughs, and Calum laughs with him, biting his lip at whatever feelings are going on in his head right now.

Ashton jumps off the bed, grabs Calum’s laptop and goes into their living area. Calum follows to behind the couch where Ashton is now sitting, and Calum sees his booking plane tickets. For today.

“Wait, right now?” Calum questions, because it’s little bit rushed, but the faster, the better, he guesses.

Ashton types quickly, humming a noise of approval when he finds a package deal with flight and hotel included. “Yep, we can fly through the night and sleep this way, and wake up and have a full day ahead,” Ashton explains and Calum nods at Ashton’s smart reasoning.

Ashton clicks a few more times and types out some information for the booking, and when he’s finished, Ashton turns and meets Calum’s gaze, hazel eyes shining and smile so wide Calum’s heart could burst at any moment.

“Let’s get packing.”

***

LAX is never a quiet airport, so Calum’s a little surprised when there’s not too many people checking in at one in the morning. The flight to Kauai is five and a half-hours, and they leave at two, so Calum’s got his journal, a couple books and a couple new playlists to listen to on the flight there.

Calum’s relieved to see that there are no fans or paparazzi anywhere at the airport, even though he loves meeting fans, sometimes he justs wants some time to himself. They both check-in without any problems and neither of them being randomly selected, and find a place to grab some food before settling down and waiting at their gate.

Calum watches Ashton as the older boy sits and begins to listen to his music. Ashton’s always loved to just watch people wherever they go, scanning all the surroundings while in his own little world. Calum wants nothing more than to know what goes on inside of Ashton’s head in moments like this, when Ashton’s lost in his music and thoughts. 

Calum’s never realised how beautiful Ashton looks in moments like these, either. There’s a small smile gracing the curly haired boys lips, and his hazel eyes are soft and constantly moving. Ashton’s posture is relaxed and calm, and Ashton deserves to be relaxed after the stress of a tour.

Calum swallows hard as he turns away from Ashton, confused as to why his thoughts took such a turn and he shouldn’t be thinking about his best friend like that. 

So why was he?

Calum ignores his looming thoughts and opens his journal and grabs a pen, deciding to instead write down any emotion he can find in his jumbled brain to pass the time.

There’s a tap on his shoulder, and Calum turns his head to see Ashton smiling at him.

“Inspired?” Ashton asks, and points towards Calum’s journal.

Calum shifts the journal slightly so that Ashton can’t see clearly. He loves his friends dearly and would share anything with them, but Calum’s journal is for his eyes only unless he decides to share an idea for a song he thinks would work for their album. 

“Yeah,” is all Calum says as a reply, and Ashton tilts his head.

“What caused you to be inspired at the middle of the night in an airport?” Ashton questions.

_ You _ , is an immediate thought in Calum’s head but he pushes it away as fast as it had appeared. “Nothing, just thinking,” is all Calum says, and he prays Ashton doesn’t catch on to the slight lie he told, because Calum knows Ashton can read him like a book.

Ashton looks at Calum for a minute before humming in response. “Well, keep on writing,” Ashton says, and places his headphones back on top of his head.

It seems like it’s been ages when they’re flight is finally called, and Calum mutters out a ‘thank God,’ which causes Ashton to laugh.

“We still have the flight ahead, you know,” Ashton says.

Calum groans. “Not looking forward to that.”

Ashton bumps his shoulder as they moved forward in line to board. “Hey, we’ve survived longer,” he reassures, and Calum returns the shoulder bump along with a small smile.

Their seats are towards the back of the plan due to the late booking, but it’s nice because it’s mostly adults back here, too. By some stroke of luck, the aisle seat beside Calum remains empty. Calum hates sitting next to strangers on planes.

As they both get settled, Calum’s nerves start to rise. He’s never liked flying, and the take offs and landing are especially hard on him. Calum doesn’t like flying alone, and he’s glad most of the time he’s with his band whenever they’re flying.

Usually when they do fly, Calum sits next to Michael, because they both get extremely nervous while flying and they have a system of holding each other’s hands just to let them know that they’re okay and safe, but Calum doesn’t remember the last time he’s sat next to Ashton on a flight. Calum really, really wants to take Ashton’s hand, but with how Calum’s stomach keeps flipping whenever he thinks of the other boy, Calum doesn’t know if that’s the best idea.

Ashton must have noticed Calum’s nerves, that or he would read the younger boy’s mind. Calum feels a warm hand grab his, and he looks up to see Ashton smiling down at him. Calum glances at their intertwined hands, and Ashton’s squeezes gently. It’s a reassuring touch for Calum, and Calum never knew how much he liked holding Ashton’s hand.

“Hey, you’re okay, take-off’s only what, 10 minutes? It’ll go fast,” Ashton promises, and his smile is so kind and reassuring that Calum wants to hug him then and there. But, Calum can only form a nod over his nerves, and he tightens his grip on Ashton’s hand.

The plane starts moving, and as it gets faster and faster Calum’s nerves skyrocket higher. He doesn’t know what about taking off spikes his nerves, but it always does and his hates it.

Calum is so thankful that Ashton’s rubbing circles on his hand and circles on his back, and Calum doesn’t realise he’s leaned his head on Ashton’s shoulder until the plane stops ascending and starts to stay on the flight path.

“Sorry,” Calum mutters, moving his head from Ashton’s shoulder even though he wants to stay there forever. As Calum meets Ashton’s eyes, he swears he sees a flash of disappointment cross them, but it’s probably his eyes playing tricks on him.

Ashton shakes his head. “Dude, don’t be. I know you get nervous flying, of course I was gonna help you through it,” Ashton explains. The look on his face is so sincere and caring that Calum wants to cry. He doesn’t deserve a friend like Ashton.

Calum bites his lip. “Thanks, Ashton.”

Ashton smiles. “No problem,” he says, then takes his headphones from around his neck and places them back onto his ears.

Calum squirms in his seat a bit while using one hand to put his headphones in and select a brand-new playlist to listen to for their flight. He needs the distraction of music, right now especially with all the confusing feelings going on in his chest.

Calum falls asleep in no time, and it isn’t until he wakes up five-hours later that he realises his and Ashton’s hands are still together.

***

The landing went about as their take-off did, Ashton reassuring Calum that he’s okay and the flight will be over soon. Unfortunately, the plane’s landing was so rough it felt like the plane was going to tip over, and Calum swears he almost ripped Ashton’s arm off.

Calum ignores the fact that Ashton didn’t let go of his hand once during the flight. 

They grab their bags and go out into the airport, a humid breeze greeting them on their way inside. The air is nice and different than that of L.A, and Calum can see the vast expanse of green surrounding the island.

Calum turns to Ashton and grins, who’s already smiling at Calum. If Calum’s stomach wasn’t doing flips before, it definitely is now.

He follows Ashton to their baggage claim, and they only wait about five minutes before their bags are out and in their hands.

They both got a decent amount of sleep on the plane, the amount of sleep they’re used to getting from constantly being on tour and early mornings, so they both have a lot of energy. 

Ashton talks to an airport attendee who gets them a cab, and they hop into the backseat. The cab is smaller than what they’re used to, so Ashton’s leg is pressed right up against Calum’s and they’re arms are pushed together, and Calum’s skin warms at the touch.

“Where to?” the driver inquires, to which Ashton responds, “Aqua Kauai Beach Resort, please.”

Calum ignores the feeling on his skin where he and Ashton are pressed together, and instead realises he has no idea what they’re hotel - rather, resort apparently, looks like. 

The cab starts on his way and he says it’s about a seven minute drive from the airport, so Calum takes this time to look out the window and take in all the sights in front of him. 

The highway they’re travelling on is surrounded by green, tall palm trees surrounding them on both sides. The grass is the greenest Calum thinks he’s ever seen, and that includes Australia. He can’t see the ocean from the highway, unfortunately, but he knows they’ll be near the ocean everyday.

They discuss plans on what to do while they’re enjoying their time on the island, and they decide on hiking one day, visiting the ocean as much as possible and taking in the sites and relaxing the rest of the time.

They arrive at the hotel and Calum tips the driver on the way out. The resort is small in height, a nice white colour contrast to the usual dark exterior of hotels. Palm trees surround the building, and Calum can see swimming pools in the back, along with a couple bars and in the distance, he can see the ocean.

“This is so nice!” Ashton exclaims, and Calum grins at him while they walk into the lobby. There’s a nice breeze due to the air conditioning in the interior of the resort, and their suitcases clink on the tiled flooring.

Ashton walks up to the first available clerk and Calum follows.

Calum spaces out during the basic payment and explanations, instead taking in the lobby and the people here. There are mostly middle-aged couples, and only a couple kids here and there, which is nice for them. It’s quiet and homely, and Calum already loves this place. 

Ashton taps his shoulder, bringing Calum out of his thoughts and hands him a room key.

“Let’s get this party started,” Ashton says and Calum snorts as he spins on his heel and practically skips towards the elevators. Calum loves Ashton’s enthusiastic attitude, and he loves when the older boy is excited and emits positivity. It always makes Calum happy, too, and Calum knows he would go to the end of the world to keep a smile present on Ashton’s face.

They’re on the second floor, and their room is apparently at the very end of the hallway and the furthest away from the elevator as possible, but they did book last minute so it’s understandable.

Ashton hands Calum his suitcase, and turns towards the door to unlock it.

They step inside, and the first thing Calum notices isn’t the view, not the way the room is arranged, but the bed.

And the fact that there’s only one.

Calum looks towards Ashton, who had already sauntered into the room and put his stuff down on the other side of the bed. Calum raises and eyebrow, because is Ashton really that oblivious?

Calum walks over to the other side of the bed and drops his luggage. It’s not that Calum wouldn’t like to share a bed with Ashton - if he’s honest, he likes cuddling with Ashton. What he  _ doesn’t _ like, however, is the way that it makes him feel, because whatever Calum feels when he’s lying with Ashton, he’s sure isn’t platonic. 

“Uh,” Calum starts, and Ashton shoots him a confused glance. “Did, you, uh notice anything?”

Ashton tilts his head, and Calum gestures towards the bed. Ashton doesn’t say anything for a minute, and then his eyes go wide. 

“Oh, shit, there’s only one bed,” Ashton says.

“No shit,” Calum replies while sitting down on the bed.

Ashton follows suit. “I must’ve not looked while I was booking,” Ashton explains, and his voice is higher than normal to Calum, but he deflects those thoughts. 

Calum bites his lip - he’s been doing it so much lately he thinks that his lip might go raw. Calum doesn’t want to make Ashton uncomfortable, and even if sharing a bed with Ashton causes Calum’s stomach to do flips and his breathing to hitch, Calum actually really isn’t opposed to sharing a bed. He kind of wants to, if he’s honest.

“It’s fine, it’s not like we haven’t shared a bed before.” Which is true, they used to share beds all the time, even the four of them. But recently with all of Calum’s confusing emotions, and the fact they’re here on vacation together, something about this feels more intimate. 

Instead of saying anything, Ashton just grins and flops back on the bed. “So, it’s 9 in the morning, and I’m full of energy. What do you want to do?”

Calum turns and looks at Ashton, and he can’t help but notice how Ashton’s shirt is riding up his stomach just enough to show his hipbones. Ashton’s skin looks so soft and touchable with the soft light shining down on him, and Calum can’t stop staring. Calum thinks about how nice it would be to touch Ashton’s hips, to leave kisses all over them and grip them tight while he’s capturing Ashton’s mouth with his own - 

“Calum, dude. Hello?” 

Calum blinks, and he does  _ not  _ know where the hell that train of thought came from. Ashton is his best friend, and now Calum is thinking about roughly making out with him?

Calum has no idea what the fuck is going on with him.

“Sorry, I spaced out,” Calum mumbles. He really, really wants Ashton to move so that his shirt falls back down and covers his body, because Calum needs these thoughts to go away, like,  _ now _ . 

Ashton laughs. “Yeah, I noticed.”

Calum chooses to grab a pillow and throw it at Ashton’s head. Big mistake, as when Ashton moves to deflect the pillow, his shirt rides up even more and showcases his torso, the sun reflecting even more on his abs than it did on his hip, and Calum swallows hard.

Ashton moves and throws the pillow back at Calum’s head, which breaks Calum out of whatever the hell trance he was in, thank god.

“Wanna go down to the pool?” Ashton suggests, and Calum nods enthusiastically.

“Yes! Will you buy me a drink, too?” Calum smirks, and Ashton rolls his eyes.

“I won’t always be here to do your dirty work, Hood.” Ashton responds, sauntering into the bathroom with his bag.

Calum rolls his eyes, and this is how it’s supposed to be. Just friendly banter and pillow fights, no staring at his best friends body and picturing making out with him. Calum needs to control his thoughts - he’s probably just confused, really. He hasn’t had a date in quite some time, and yeah, that’s the reason for his confusing emotions.

Calum maneuvers through his bag to locate his swim trunks, and he changes into them. He grabs sunscreen, his sunglasses, wallet and hat, and it’s when he stops in the mirror to check himself over when he realises that he’s going to half to see Ashton walking around without a shirt for probably the entire trip.

That shouldn’t bother him, really. He’s seen Ashton shirtless plenty of times before - so why is it that now, when he thinks about his best friends naked torso, his heart stops and he feels like he can’t breathe?

Calum really, really wants whatever the hell is going on with his brain to stop, because this is supposed to be a vacation, and it’s stressing him out.

Ashton steps out of the bathroom - thank god, he’s still wearing a shirt - and throws an arm around Calum’s shoulder. Calum ignores how he heats up at the touch.

***

They end up settling at a pool bar in an eighteen plus zone, and Ashton managed to sneak Calum a drink without the bartender looking suspicious at all. He’s really only one year off of twenty-one, so he’s not overly shocked that he doesn’t get I.D’d. 

Calum is sitting in the pool nursing his drink across from Ashton, but it’s not very deep and the water only goes up to their legs. Both fortunately and unfortunately for Calum, Ashton’s shirt did come off. Calum figured out that he did, indeed, really like staring at Ashton’s torso - the way his abs moved when he laughed and the way his skin glistened in the sun, and he so desperately wanted to touch the older boy. The unfortunately comes into place in the fact that Calum is thinking those type of things about his best friend.

Sure, in their hotel room he placed it down to loneliness. But, the fact that even thinking about Ashton sends a spiral into Calum’s thought and he can’t even think straight makes him think differently.

Calum doesn’t think he likes Ashton. Of course he loves the older boy, he’s always stuck with Calum through thick and thin, and he’s Calum’s best friend.

But best friends aren’t supposed to think about making out with each other.

Calum takes another sip of his drink, and watches as Ashton’s hair ruffles in the gentle breeze.

Ashton looks towards Calum, and his hazel eyes are so soft that Calum wants to melt. Ashton moves across the pool to sit next to Calum, and their hands are brushing against the water.

“I’m glad we did this,” Ashton says. Ashton’s voice has taken on a wistful note, that shows the older boy is truly happy, truly grateful for everything happening in the world. 

Calum looks at Ashton, looks at how happy Ashton is in the bright sunlight. Calum thinks  about how he wants to wrap his arms around Ashton and tell him how happy he is that the older boy is happy, and how he’s glad it’s only the two of them on the vacation.

Calum thinks about how they’ve been sitting in this pool for at least three hours, talking about new music, joking about their band and just plain fooling around. How that soon turned into deep conversations about how they both want to start searching for their own happiness. How Ashton’s face changed from a bright smile to a soft one and a far-off look in his eyes as he talked about finding someone, about how he wants to explore the world and see all it has to offer, and how he wants so share every detail of his adventures with them, every detail of his life.

Calum swallows when he realises that he wants to be the person to travel the world with Ashton.

A sinking feeling appears in his stomach and Calum’s jumbled mind finally places the feelings that Calum’s been having about his best friend as of late. Calum wants to cry, because he can’t feel that way, he shouldn’t.

But he does.

“Me, too.” is all Calum whispers as he takes another sip of his drink.

***

When they return to their room, it’s not too late, but they’re exhausted from the hot sun, and Calums exhausted from his whirlwind of thoughts.

Ashton immediately calls dibs on the shower, and runs straight into the bathroom. Calum rolls his eyes and most definitely doesn’t think about Ashton’s naked body underneath underneath the hot spray of the water.

Calum flops down on the bed and runs his hands over his face. It’s only their first day of the trip, and Calum’s stupid feelings are going to ruin it.

Calum likes his best friend. More than platonically.

Calum doesn’t even know when it happened. He just remembers he and Ashton becoming periodically closer throughout the time of their tour, always fooling around with each other and being in each other's presence. Calum realises that for a while, he’s enjoyed it just being him and Ashton. Despite his vast amount of love for Michael and Luke, Calum’s always just wanted to be around Ashton as much as he could.

They just became closer, and Calum’s just been blind to the reason why this entire time. Each night that he and Ashton would share a bed and Calum would sleep better than he ever had in those nights, and how he always invited Ashton first whenever he were to go somewhere. Calum thinks it’s been in his subconscious this entire time, really, and he unintentionally avoided it. That, or the feelings never became stronger than they were now due to the intimacy of going on a trip with your best friend. Maybe his feelings just became so strong that his mind physically couldn’t hide it any longer - they had to come out at one point, and apparently, it had to be now.

Calum sighs. He’s screwed - there’s no way in hell he would even have a chance with Ashton. Calum knows Ashton loves him - but only as a friend. Of course, Ashton is always there for Calum, always reassuring him and always going out of his way to make Calum happy. Ashton always gets extra defensive with anything involving Calum - but that’s Ashton’s nature. He’s naturally a selfless person, and it’s not unusual for him. That, and the fact Ashton’s straight.

At least, Calum’s pretty sure Ashton is. Calum thought he was straight until five hours ago, so he could be wrong, but it’s doubtful. 

Calum’s almost dreading the rest of this trip, but instead of dwelling on his own pain and stupid feelings he shouldn’t have developed in the first place, he’ll focus on how Ashton was so excited for this trip, and he’s not going to ruin it.

Ashton comes out of the bathroom with a towel low on his hips, hair wet against his cheeks and water dripping off of his torso. Calum’s breath catches at the sight, and his newfound feelings are definitely going to be hard to ignore when Ashton’s walking around like some god. His feelings are also definitely going to be hard to ignore with the fact that Calum’s dick twitched at seeing Ashton in such a state.

God, Calum’s so, so screwed. 

Calum’s eyes are glued to Ashton’s wet, bare skin and he can’t take his eyes off no matter how hard he tries. Calum licks his lips, and oh, god he hopes Ashton didn’t notice that.

“You’re spacey today,” Ashton says as he swats Calum on the head, effectively breaking his train of thought.

“I’m always spacey,” is all Calum can get out at the moment, and he hops up to get in the shower before his thoughts can go anymore haywire.

When Calum gets out of the shower - which he may or may not have jacked off at the thought of his best friends glistening, toned body - Ashton is under the comforters, scrolling through his phone. 

Calum pulls the comforter back on his side of the bed and slips in, moving closer to see what Ashton’s doing. He’s sending a message to their band group chat, and it’s a bunch of pictures of the resort and pool.

Calum laughs. “Making them feel bad about ditching us?”

Ashton smirks. “Yep. Show them what they’re missing,” Ashton responds as he hits send. Ashton turns on his side towards Calum, elbow resting on the pillow to support his head. Their faces are so close Calum can feel Ashton’s breath on his skin, and Ashton’s lips are right there in front of him, and he wants nothing more than to close the gap between them. 

But he can’t. 

Calum moves slightly backwards, and if he saw a frown grace Ashton’s face at his movement, he’s imagining it. 

They’re still facing each other, and Calum notices concern swimming in Ashton’s hazel irides. He doesn’t know what Ashton would be concerned about, really, but Calum doesn’t like seeing Ashton anything but happy.

“You okay?” Calum asks, moving the comforter off of himself, because fuck, it’s hot.

Ashton tilts his head and does the same thing. “I was about to ask you the same thing.”

Calum plants a smile on his face, and he hopes it passes off as real. “I’m okay. Really, I promise. I’m exhausted.”

Ashton bites his lip and pushes his hair behind his hair, a nervous gesture that Calum’s picked up on for being Ashton’s friend for so long. “You sure?”

And Calum’s heart flutters in his chest. Calum loves that about Ashton - the way he always makes sure everyone else is okay even before himself, so selfless and kind when he doesn’t have to be. It upsets Calum at times, too, because then Ashton will end up hurt and the older boy will keep it to himself until Calum pulls it out of him. Ashton is so kind and caring and the world doesn’t deserve him, and that’s one of the reasons Calum loves Ashton in the first place.

Calum freezes in his thoughts, immediately backtracking to the word  _ love _ .

There’s no way he’s in love with Ashton - he can’t be. It’s literally only been one day that Calum’s been contemplating his feelings - well, maybe. Sure, Calum’s been feeling weird around Ashton for quite a while, and he just pushes the feelings away, and today Calum’s actually been facing his feelings and - fuck.

Sure, Calum had acknowledged he knew he had liked Ashton, and was still coming terms to that, but love? He didn’t expect to be in that deep, ever. Calum can’t believe that he’d been ignoring his feelings for so long that he didn’t even realise he’s in love with his best friend. The realisation comes over him in an instant, practically, while he’s staring into Ashton’s soft gaze. 

Calum realises he’s been in love for a while - there had to be a reason he always felt happier, more calm when he’s with Ashton. There had to be a reason he would always follow Ashton wherever the boy would go, a reason why his stomach would flip and his heart would stop.

He just didn’t let his feelings surface until they got too strong.

Which is terrifying for Calum, because when he were to fall in love, he expected to realise it, for it to be a slow, gentle build. Not a build where he ignores everything and then it comes and hits him all at once.

Calum lets out the breath he wasn’t even aware that he was holding, and turns towards Ashton once again.

_ Love _ . He’d finally been able to place that stupid feeling constantly in his chest and on the back of his brain, and now that he knows what it is he’s fucking scared.

Calum once again plasters a fake smile on his face, and even though every inch of his mind is telling him not too, his body doesn’t listen and moves towards Ashton, wrapping an arm around the older boy and cuddling him. He’s doing it to reassure Ashton he’s fine - cuddling is a normal thing for the band, nothing unusual. Ashton won’t know that Calum’s enjoying being this close to Ashton, he won’t know how much Calum wants to stay wrapped in Ashton’s arms forever.

Ashton laughs and proceeds to wrap an arm back around Calum, and Calum swears he gets goosebumps. “I’ll take that as a yes, then.”

Calum nods against Ashton’s chest, and his mind is telling him to move, to back out of Ashton’s touch, but he doesn’t. He can’t. If he’s in love with his best friend, he needs to cherish every single moment of their friendship before he ruins it.

***

It’s their third day on the island, and Calum was relieved that Ashton hadn’t been all too suspicious - or at least Calum hopes he hasn’t. Calum thinks he’s been acting the same - they’ve been up to their usual banter, their usual conversations. Sure, Calum’s been staring at Ashton a little longer than necessary when they were out in the pool, and he’s been a little bit more careful with monitoring the space between them. Calum’s been making sure that they’re close enough that Ashton doesn’t notice the difference, but a little bit farther apart than they would usually be.

They’re currently on a bus on the way to the Kalalau Trail, and upon research Calum had learned it’s apparently one of the most dangerous hikes in the world. Calum was a bit scared, at first, but the way Ashton got all excited talking about it and with how much research the older boy had put into it, Calum couldn’t say no.

Calum turns to stare out the window, capturing all the scenery on the just over an hour drive. He didn’t expect Ashton to be staring at him all ready - Ashton was staring at him as if the he was reading him. Ashton immediately flicks his gaze to a spot behind Calum, and that’s definitely unusual behaviour for Ashton.

Calum turns back towards his seat and stares blankly ahead, hoping none of his emotions show through on his face because then Ashton would for sure know that something was up. And with the way Ashton was staring at him just seconds ago, Calum’s nervous he’s been a bit more obvious about his different behaviour than he’d meant to be.

Calum really, really can’t lose Ashton - and that’s exactly the reason Ashton can’t find out about his feelings. Calum knows Ashton loves him, but not in the way Calum loves Ashton. But there’s a shadow of doubt in Calum’s head that truly believes if Ashton were too find out that Calum’s feelings were more than platonic, Calum’s terrified that Ashton will run away, that their relationship will never be the same.

And Calum can’t lose his best friend. He doesn’t care how much pain only being Ashton’s friend will bring him. Ashton’s friendship is too important, and Calum can’t imagine living a day without the older boy by his side.

Calum’s taken out of his thoughts by Ashton bumping into his side, and Calum notices they’re the last two on the bus. Calum mumbles out a ‘sorry,’ to which Ashton doesn’t have a response. 

They hop off the bus, and the beginning of the trail is in front of them. There is a tour guide explaining everything, who Calum really should be listening to, but instead he’s taking in the surroundings. There are only several palm trees dispersed here and there along the trail, and the shrubbery is a brilliant shade of green. He can see the ocean from here, too, and it looks like the trail will go along the side of the ocean, which makes Calum even more excited. There’s only a brisk wind, so the waves are calm, and the ocean is most vivid blue Calum’s ever seen.

Calum turns towards Ashton and subconsciously moves closer, shoulders touching. Ashton seemed to be staring at the view, too, and when he looks down at Calum the older boy is fit with a dazzling smile and eyes full of wonder, and Calum returns a smile he hopes is equally as bright.

“This trail looks beautiful,” Calum whispers, so that the tour guide won’t glare at them for ignoring obviously important safety instructions.

Ashton’s smile doesn’t leave his face. “One of the reasons I wanted to come here, it has a beautiful view of the ocean.”

Calum looks over to Ashton, and Calum knows how fascinating Ashton finds the ocean. It reminds the older boy of home, of where they always wish to spend more time. Ashton just finds the ocean fascinating for so many different reasons, and Calum feels a wave of fondness wash over him.

It also reminds him that he can’t be as close to Ashton as he is right now, because if he keeps this up Ashton will find out all about Calum’s feelings. So Calum just smiles and puts a space between them, and Calum swears he sees hurt flash across the older boy's eyes, but he doesn’t know why there would be.

Ashton’s looks as though he’s about to say something when their group starts walking along the trail, and stops to follow. Calum trails behind him, and Calum wants nothing more than to hold Ashton’s hand.

***

It’s been about thirty minutes into the trail, and it’s been exerting enough that there’s really no room for talking. Calum’s thankful but sad, because the silence between him and Ashton feels heavy instead of comfortable. It’s the first time anything’s ever been awkward between them, and it’s all Calum’s fault for developing stupid feelings in the first place.

The quiet has been good to take in all the scenery, though, if it had to be good for something. There’s a quiet chirp of a bird here and there and the rushing of the water below them sends a calming sensation through Calum’s body.

Calum can see why the trail is dangerous, as there’s no railings or anything, but you’d have to stray quite far off the beaten path to really be in dangerous. At least, so far the trail hasn’t really been dangerous.

The trail mellows out a bit and is basically flat land for what looks like at least half a mile, but Calum’s never been good at determining distance.

Ashton’s a little bit ahead of him, and the older boy stops and turns towards Calum. Calum’s fit, but Ashton’s always been a little bit quicker at physical activity.

“You okay?” Ashton asks, genuine concern in his voice. His hair is matted to his forehead, sweat making Ashton’s skin shine.

Calum grabs his water bottle and takes a large drink. “Yeah, lots of uphill back there.”

Another silence settles between them, and Calum looks to see Ashton biting his lip, and Calum knows that means Ashton is fighting with himself on whether or not to say something. 

Calum hates this awkward silence between them, and he’s putting his friendship and care for Ashton before his stupid feelings. “Are you okay? You’re thinking,” Calum says, and Ashton sighs.

“It’s just - are you okay? Did I do something wrong? You’ve been acting...distant,” Ashton almost whispers, and Ashton’s sad tone is a slap to Calum’s face. Ashton isn’t supposed to be sad, Calum was avoiding his feelings and being extra careful to make sure that Ashton was happy and carefree on this trip, but he’d apparently made the boy worry more. Calum hates himself for bringing the awful expression on Ashton’s face.

“No,” Calum immediately says, and fights with himself for a minute before moving closer to Ashton. “This trip has been amazing. I’ve never had more fun in my life,” and he’s sincere with his words, but Ashton looks like he doesn’t believe them.

Despite Calum’s epiphany that he was, indeed, in love with his best friend, this trip has been amazing. He’s never laughed more in his life, he thinks, and even with Calum’s purposeful reserved mannerisms, he’s still felt more relaxed and at ease. Especially when Calum forgets his strong feelings for Ashton and how they could ruin their relationship, because then Calum will just sit in the moment and take it all that he’s here, in Hawaii with his best friend, the most important person in his life. But unfortunately there’s always one thing that makes Calum remembering the devastation truth about his true feelings for Ashton.

Ashton looks out towards the ocean on their right side before turning back to Calum. “It’s just - I feel like there’s something you’re not telling me. We tell each other everything,” Ashton says, and Calum knows that the older boy wants to talk about it, right now. If nothing, Ashton’s persistent. Calum can usually talk about anything to Ashton no matter how embarrassing or awkward - but not this.

Calum hates the pang of guilt that appears in his chest. He wants to tell Ashton so, so badly. Every fibre in his body is telling him to just go for it, but his brain is telling him he can’t. Calum sighs and tries to find the right words.

“We do, Ash, we do. I just…….it’s nothing, okay?” is all that Calum finds, and Calum knows that wasn’t the right thing to say.

This time there’s no mistaking the hurt that flashes through Ashton’s eyes, and at this point the guilt is practically consuming Calum’s body. 

Ashton’s the type of person who always wants honesty - honesty and loyalty are what Ashton values the most, Calum’s learned from spending so much time with him through the years. 

“Please, tell me, Cal. I can’t just sit here and watch while something's bothering you,” Ashton pleads, and the desperation in his eyes almost makes Calum break, right there in the middle of the trail. The I’m in love with you is on the tip of his tongue, ready to be revealed to the entire world and break him - but it’s stuck, and he can’t.

“It’s nothing,” Calum says, and it comes out more harshly than he intended. He can’t bare to see what look that brought upon Ashtons face, the face that Calum always wants to see a smile on, yet he’s currently causing the frown on Ashton’s face.

Calum speeds ahead of Ashton, hating himself so much for not only lying to Ashton but for falling for him. It’s so stupid and dangerous to fall in love with your best friend - because no matter if they know it or don’t, it will always fuck you over in the end.

Calum thinks he’s fucked up before Ashton even knows of his feelings, and he can’t look back at Ashton. Calum’s lost in his own head, and Calum doesn’t notice the fact that the trail is thinner, and there’s no longer a large expanse of bush separating him from the cliff’s edge. It’s a narrow trail, and one misstep could lead him straight into the ocean.

Calum is so caught up in his thoughts, of guilt, sadness, love and whatever the hell else there is that he’s not looking in front of him, he’s not watching his footing. Calum doesn’t notice the turn in the trail and how when he steps forward, there’s nothing there.

Before Calum can even register what had happened, arms are crushing around Calum’s torso and Calum is looking straight down into the water. The arms around Calum are so, so tight and Calum notices that his left foot isn’t even on the trail but over the ledge, and if the arms didn’t grab his back and hold him in place, he wouldn’t gone straight down into the ocean he so admires.

The arms pull him back, and it hits Calum that he literally just stepped off the fucking edge of the trail. How the hell did he get so wrapped up in his thoughts he almost stepped off a fucking cliff?

“Calum, breathe,” a calm voice says, and Calum recognizes the voice, it’s like honey washing over his skin. The arms around his waist feel like they should always be there, so warm and so gentle.

Calum catches his breath, and he looks back towards where he almost fell. It’s a few feet behind him, and Calum must’ve spaced out while he was moved back onto the trail, and instead of a narrow path it’s instead a lookout that stares straight over the ocean.

Calum looks up and sees hazel eyes boring down on his, so full of fear and concern and something else Calum can’t place. Of course, it’s Ashton saving Calum’s ass, because even after Calum fucked up, Ashton is still Ashton, the most selfless and amazing human being he’s ever met.

“Don’t do that again,” Ashton breathes, and Calum’s heart is beating so fast he’s sure Ashton can feel it. Their faces are so close he can feel Ashton’s breath on his skin, and Ashton’s strong arms are still holding him close. 

Ashton’s gaze flickers down his face, and Calum does the same thing. Ashton’s lips are parted, slightly, and Calum usually has more self-control than this, but his body is on fire and Ashton saved his life and he needs this, he’s needed this for ages.

Calum bridges the gap between them, taking Ashton’s lip in his. Ashton’s scruff is rough against Calum’s cheek, and Ashton’s hold freezes on Calum for a minute before it tightens and the older boy’s hand moves up and threads through Calum’s hair. Ashton takes control of the kiss and is kissing Calum with so much passion and intensity Calum might fall to kiss knees. Ashton’s lips are soft and his face fits right with Calums, and the kiss feels so good that Calum almost doesn’t realise the weight of the situation he’s in.

Calum puts a hand on Ashton’s chest and pushes him back, and Calum’s eyes are wide. Fuck - he’s fucked up so bad. He kissed Ashton, and now Ashton’s going to hate him.

“No, oh my god,” Calum says, and his breath is caught in his throat. He can’t look Ashton in the eye. “I’m so fucking sorry - if you want to leave, never talk to me again, do it, now,” Calum finishes, and he tears himself out of Ashton’s hold and starts walking forwards.

A hand clamps down on Calum’s wrist, and he’s still avoiding the older boy’s gaze. Ashton pulls him closer, and Calum doesn’t want to hear that their friendship is over. He won’t be able to take that heartbreak. 

“Calum,” Ashton says, and he tilts Calum’s head up to meet his eyes. The fear from earlier is replaced by concern, awe and there’s still that one emotion Calum can’t place, and he would do anything to know what it was.

“Calum, is that why you’ve been acting weird?” Ashton questions, tone so serious that Calum wants to run and hide.

Calum bites his lip and shrugs, and Ashton moves his hand and intertwines it with Calum’s. Calum’s skin heats up with the touch, and he grips onto Ashton’s hand.

“Don’t lie to me,” Ashton adds, tone strict yet kind at the same time.

And as Calum stands here, in the middle of the trail with the ocean right in front of them and the sunsetting, Calum can’t take it anymore. He doesn’t know if it’s the adrenaline from almost falling, the emotions spiralling in his chest from kissing Ashton, or the fact that Ashton’s stare is so intense Calum can’t think straight. It’s now or never, and if he has to ruin their friendship, he needs to be honest.

Calum takes a deep breath.

“I’m in love with you, Ash,” Calum barely whispers, and he can’t bring himself to meet Ashton’s eyes. “And I’m so fucking sorry - like I said, you can leave me here, leave me alone, ignore me for the rest of your life. I know how bad this is, I’m sorry.”

Calum doesn’t expect to be pulled into Ashton’s embrace, hands clutching him so tightly that he’s struggling to breath. He expected Ashton to yell at him for doing something so stupid, yet he’s been hugged like his life depended on it.

“Calum, you idiot,” and yeah, Calum wasn’t expecting that either.

Calum pulls back and is confused at the large smile and glint in Ashton’s eyes.

“You’re..not mad? Disgusted with me?” Calum questions, and Ashton laughs in response.

Ashton takes Calums hands once again and rubs circles, and Calum relishes in the touch. He can’t believe Ashton doesn’t hate him - he should, but he doesn’t and Calum doesn't know what to think. 

“Did you ever think I might feel the same way?”

Calum’s heart stops. Part of Calum thinks Ashton is playing a cruel trick on him, telling him this and then they’ll go back to how they were on tour and Ashton will hate him and things will never be the same.

But Ashton’s eyes are shining, his gaze sincere and genuine and Calum places the emotion in Ashton’s eyes, finally, and he can’t believe it, but he thinks it’s love.

Calum has no reason not to believe Ashton - Ashton has always been honest with him, has never lied to him once in his entire life. And Calum wants to believe Ashton so, so badly - so he does.

“Do you?” Calum whispers, and he’s so scared of the response that he shuts his eyes.

He feels a hand under his chin and soft lips press against his, and Calum melts into the kiss. He plants his hands on Ashton’s hips, and Ashton runs his hands through Calum’s hair. Calum has wanted this for so long - and this is different than their kiss on the cliff’s edge. Here, the kiss is needy and gentle and so full of love, that Calum doesn’t doubt Ashton at all.

They pull apart for air, and Ashton is grinning at him. “Does that answer your question?”

Calum shakes his head. “I didn’t think……...I thought I was ruining our friendship.”

Ashton shakes his head. “You wouldn’t have been. Plus, I’ve been thinking the same thing for months.”

Calum stops in his tracks. “Months!?”

Ashton smiles, a sad smile, and Calum hates it.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Calum continues.

Aston takes Calum’s hand.

“The same reason you didn’t tell me,” Ashton replies, and Calum feels like a hypocrite. They don’t say anything for a minute, and they walk hand in hand to the end of the trail and back to the bus.

“When did you know?” Ashton asks as they take their seats, and Calum raises an eyebrow. “Your feelings,” he adds for clarification.

“Oh,” Calum says, and he blushes at his admission. “The first day we were here, I knew I was in love with you. But I think I’ve been in love for a while, and didn’t know,” Calum explains, and it feels so weird yet so normal to wear his heart on his sleeve in front of Ashton.

Ashton smiles. “I’m glad you realised. Also, why else do you think I got only one bed?”

Calum’s eyes widen. “You did that on purpose?”

Ashton blushes, sheepish smile adorning his face. “Er, yeah. But don’t blame me! It was Michael’s idea,” and Calum’s eyes feel like they’re about to pop out of his head.

“Michael knew?!” Calum exclaims, and Ashton lets out a laugh.

“I didn’t tell him, he confronted me about it. Apparently it was pretty obvious,” Ashton giggles, and Calum shakes his head.

“Not to me,” Calum says, and Ashton returns his hand to Calum’s.

“Hey,” Ashton starts, and his voice is soft. “You realised it on your own, and that’s all I could’ve asked for,” he finishes, and Calum’s stomach twists and Ashton’s words.

Instead of talking, he takes Ashton’s mouth in his, and he could definitely get used to this.

***

They spent the entire hour drive making out, and they’re sure they grossed out all of the clientele on the bus. But Calum doesn’t care - because he never thought he would have Ashton like this and now he does, and Calum wants to cry because he doesn’t deserve Ashton. They were making up for lost time, the time where Calum was ignoring his feelings and he wanted as much time with Ashton as he could get.

It’s amazing how fast they got back into their usual selves - well, with an addition of the kissing and touching each other - after the awkwardness of the past couple days. It may seem fast, but to Calum it seems like they’ve been together forever. It’s the truth, in a way, because Calum and Ashton have been in love with each other for a while, just too scared to admit it.

They get back to their hotel, and Calum can’t get enough of holding Ashton’s hand. There’s a new heat between them, too, and Calum would be lying if he said that his dick didn’t twitch several times on that bus ride.

They enter their room and Calum is surprised when Ashton pushes him back against the door immediately, but Calum takes it in stride. Calum brings his hands up to tangle through Ashton’s hair, and he kisses back hungrily. Ashton’s crotch is pressed onto Calum’s, and Calum can feel himself getting harder by the minute.

They start to move towards the bed, and Calum falls down with Ashton on top of him. He thrusts his hips up onto Ashton and the older boy gasps before returning the favour. Calum’s hands moves to Ashton’s hips and he digs his nails in his back, and god, this feels so fucking good.

Calum can feel Ashton’s hard dick against his leg, and Calum really, really wants to touch it. God, he can’t believe it took him this long to find his true feelings because he’s been missing out for the longest time. 

Ashton moves to Calum’s neck and starts sucking and  _ holy shit _ , Calum didn’t know Ashton had it in him. Calum moans Ashton’s name and Ashton sucks harder at the touch, and Calum’s nails are digging so far into Ashton’s back that he’s scared he’s hurting him.

“Ash, fuck, touch me,” Calum moans out, and his dick is twitching against his jeans. Ashton removes himself from Calum’s neck, smirking at the hickey Calum knows he left.

“You sure?” Ashton pants, and Calum nods.

For the past couple days, Calum’s been imaging Ashton touching him in places only described as sinful while jerking off in the shower. Now, he finally has Ashton, and he can finally have Ashton touch him.

Calum goes to unbutton his jeans and throws them to the side of the room, along with his underwear. His hard dick slaps against his stomach,  and he watches as Ashton’s gaze fills with lust at the sight.

Ashton quickly does the same thing with his jeans and underwear and Calum’s chest tightens at the sight of Ashton’s hard dick, so pink and beautiful and he wants to touch it right this second.

“Have you done this before?” Calum breathes out.

“Not with a guy, but I get the idea,” Ashton smirks, and fuck, Ashton’s a different person in bed.

Calum’s lying on his back with his cock flesh against his stomach, and Ashton brings their mouths together as the older boy’s hand starts moving.

Ashton’s stokes are gentle and fast and Calum detaches his lips from Ashton to throw his head back and moan. “Fuck, Ash.”

Ashton keeps going, their kiss getting rougher and rougher as Ashton goes faster. Calum feels precome dripping off of his dick, but he wants, no he  _ needs _ , Ashton’s mouth on him before he comes.

“Mouth,” Calum pants out, and Ashton’s smirk is so big as he moves from Calum’s mouth to his thighs, and Calum’s eyes roll back in his head as Ashton starts sucking on the inside of his thighs.

“Fuck, Ash, now,” is all Calum can manage through his hazy thoughts. He’s dizzy and hard and he needs Ashton’s mouth on his hard cock right this second or he’s going to explode. He’s never been this gone for someone, never been this fast for someone and Calum can’t believe it’s Ashton who brought him to a withering mess.

Ashton’s tongue slides over Calum’s slit, and the younger boy grips the sheets in response. Ashton’s tongue feels so good, better than anyone else that came before him.

Ashton swirls his tongue around Calum’s slit before taking his entire cock in his mouth, and Calum moans so loudly at the contact that they’re definitely getting a noise complaint.

Calum is a mess at this point, almost crying Ashton’s name while the older boy works his tongue all around Calum’s dick and his hands pressed into the brown boy’s side.

One more twist of Ashton’s head sends Calum into a frenzy and he comes straight into Ashton’s mouth, and he moans the older boy's name the loudest he’s ever heard it. Calum watches as Ashton swallows his come and  _ fuck _ , that was the hottest thing Calum’s ever witnessed.

Calum can’t form coherent thoughts, all he knows is that Ashton is beautiful and amazing and that Ashton still has a perfectly hard cock for him to work with.

Ashton and Calum share a look and Ashton just lets out a mumbled “Fuck, now,” before leaning back on the back and now Calum is where Ashton was, roles reversed, sucking hickeys onto Ashton’s thighs and running his hands over Ashton’s beautifully toned abs.

Ashton’s a lot quieter than Calum was, but his breathy moans might just make Calum hard again. The Maori boy can’t take the moans anymore and brings his mouth onto Ashton’s cock, swirling over his slit just as Ashton did.

He’s never done this before, but it comes so easily to him. He copies Ashton’s movements from before and Ashton’s hands are in Calum’s hair so tight that he’s sure the older boy had ripped some out.

The only difference is Calum let’s go of Ashton’s cock before the older boy can come into his mouth and instead comes on his stomach, and Calum throws his head back in a moan at the feeling of it.

Ashton then takes Calum’s body and pulls him onto his lip, pressing a chaste kiss to his forehead.

“I can’t believe we waited so long to do that,” Ashton whispers, and as Calum is sitting here, the soft Hawaiian air coming through their window and Ashton’s arms wrapped safely around him, neither can he.

***

It’s their final day in Hawaii, and Ashton and Calum had ventured down to the beach. Calum is currently sitting on Ashton’s back, rubbing sunscreen onto him so that he doesn’t get another sunburn, and Calum’s practically getting off at Ashton’s moans while he’s rubbing the sunscreen into Ashton’s back.

“Dude, we’re in public,” Calum chastises, and Ashton laughs before lifting his head backwards enough for Calum to see his smirk.

“Not my fault your hands do these things to me,” Ashton winks and Calum rolls his eyes.

“You become a different person when you’re horny,” Calum teases, and he hops off of Ashton’s back once he’s finished. Ashton sits up and pulls Calum into his side, and Calum warms into the touch. Calum rests his head on Ashton’s shoulder, and a comfortable silence settles between them.

Calum is so thankful for this trip. He can’t believe he realised he was in love with his best friend and had those feelings reciprocated within the trip, and he’s so damn lucky to have Ashton.

Calum’s so happy he got to spend this week with Ashton, touching him and kissing him in ways that no one else can. Calum’s happy that he pulled his head out of his ass and realised his true feelings for Ashton, and he couldn’t ask the world for anything better.

Calum looks up to find Ashton staring at him already. Calum closes the gap with a kiss, and as Ashton’s mouth is connected with his and their bodies are flesh against each other, Calum knows he couldn’t have asked for a better end to his vacation.

***

**Author's Note:**

> thank you so much for reading! i'm hope you enjoyed it! i loved writing it, and i'm proud of myself for writing something this long!  
> if you wanna talk hit me up on [tumblr](http://candyflossclifford.tumblr.com)


End file.
